Ick

Ick - ​ a sudden feeling of disgust that seems to come out of nowhere.

I remember feeling ick about situations that were happening to me when I was a child in the foster care system. And then later when I moved back to live with family. Back then I had no power to be able to stop the ick. How a child can endure that trauma and survive still boggles my mind. 

As an adult, I distanced myself from the ick regardless of their relation to me or not. It's hard for an outsider to understand why you wouldn't want a relationship with a family member. Frankly, it's not their concern. The importance of removing yourself from dysfunction should take precedence over everything else.

Since choosing me, I have lived a fairly peaceful life because I determined that my peace of mind has to be my first priority. My loyalty is, and always will be, to myself. <3