Be the soft place

When my son was about a year and a half old I learned something very valuable in a parenting workshop that I continue to do 36 years later. Not just with my adult son, but with everyone.

We were told that your face sets the tone. If your child sees worry, they will worry. If the child sees anger, they prepare for your anger. If the child sees sadness, they will shoulder that and think its their fault. This wasn't to say that you shouldn't feel these things or that your child shouldn't learn these things. What it was meant to teach was, are you aware of what YOU are feeling? How do you deal with those feelings? Whatever you are feeling, is teaching to others how to treat you.

It took time and practice to be able to greet my son with a positive and welcoming smile every time I saw him. When he needed to understand that Mom wasn't having the greatest day, that conversation came after the smile. This allowed him to know that my not so great day had zero to do with him and everything to do with me. He didn't have to own what wasn't his to own.

Own your own feelings and don't burden others with them. They have their own feelings to manage. Allow others to own their feelings, you don't have to take them on. Be YOUR soft place for YOU first and others second. Start that smile from within and let others off the hook for what you yourself must own.<3